Hi, I am Nir and welcome to my text about finding alignment with doing a thing. I want to write down my thoughts about alignment so that I can not only find clarity for myself but also share my process and why I created this platform. First, I will describe the platform and its intention.
A short description of “Doing the Thing”
On the “Doing the Thing” Discord platform we play with the dynamic between doing things regularly and doing them spontaneously, doing things collectively and doing them on your own.
The main focus is on body doubling through chats, emojis, and text (though video is also possible). It is mostly about finding start times together and supporting each other along the way.
We want to create a space where people can align with each other’s needs. That way, we hope to create a low-demand environment. It is a form of collective empowerment.
What do I mean with alignment?
The biggest factor that helps me with doing a thing is finding ALIGNMENT. I believe intentionality requires alignment with all aspects of ourselves. By this I mean finding the connection between BODY and MIND through SPIRIT. The body has a need. The mind has a requirement. And the spirit has an intention.
For example: I have to do my taxes. The “have to” is the requirement from the MIND. Behind that requirement is a need: security, which comes from the BODY.
Often, alongside that need, comes a lot of emotion, like FEAR of consequences, or fear of making a mistake. Usually that is what blocks alignment with intention.
You can think of it like turning the dials of a valve somewhere in your system. If one is out of whack, the inner workings of your system will not cooperate.
And the thing is, neurodivergent people have a whole lot of these different dials and valves that need to work together. Not because we are broken, but because we have so, so much to process.
Using the taxes example again, this is how my system looks when confronted with that task:
The need is: SECURITY. Got it.
The mind says: “I really SHOULD do the taxes.” My mind orders tasks into requirements of reality, but it is not good at making them feel less like a demand. So the mind is aligned with a goal but also creates agitation and fear.
The emotion is: FEAR. → leading to paralysis or overwhelm
Then comes my wish or INTENTION, which might be: “Today I will do the taxes.” Even if I want to and intend to do it, if not all elements are aligned, it can still be difficult.
These dials are not like a simple radio dial. They don’t always turn when I want them to. They can get stuck, or exhausted from dealing with an inaccessible and neurotypical world. I need a lot of compassion for myself because I can’t just turn them when I want to.
I have written down some interventions and tools I use to find support and align these elements. Some of these are things our “Doing the Thing” platform might support. But first I will explain how disalignment affects me.
Why is disalignment so difficult?
Problem 1: Impulse control
My impulse control dial might start spinning. This ties into forgetfulness. I might begin one task and then see or sense another, so I start that one instead and forget the first. The fear of not getting the second thing done pushes me to switch, but it also knocks the first task right out of my awareness.
Sometimes this can still work out if I keep moving and can hold everything in view. But what happens if my movement is impaired or I get stuck?
Problem 2: Prioritisation
Tied closely to impulse control is my ability to set priorities.
Sometimes I can’t even form a clear intention to do one thing because in the background, I feel like so many other things should also be done. My unconscious is battling with a dozen unsorted needs and emotions, and meanwhile, my conscious mind is like… WTF?
It’s hard to decide what to do, or when.
Can I really start now? Do I have the energy?
Wait, but what about that other thing? That’s also really important!
So my impulse control isn’t just spinning… it’s in chronic turbo mode. I bounce between tasks, not wanting to forget one, while also feeling paralysed by the weight of everything else. And I stay stuck. Help.
Problem 3: Barriers and task setup
It gets even more complex when there are barriers to starting the task. Do I need to do another thing in order to even begin this one? What are the steps needed to prepare?
When I haven’t figured out those prep steps, there’s a high chance my nervous system will interpret the whole thing as a demand. And when that happens, it’s shut-down mode.
Even if the barrier is really simple, like not being able to find scissors when I want to wrap a package… that’s all it takes. 🙈🥴
It’s a lot, I know. Welcome to my life.
But hey, I’ve found some solutions.
Interventions and Tools
These are some of the approaches I’ve found useful, and that I try to hold space for so others can access them too.
Intervention: Anchors
Anchors are like tiny quests or mini-routines.
They’re impulses that stabilise my nervous system.
They give me something reliable—orientation.
Here are a few ways to establish an anchor:
1. Link a new routine to something you already do daily.
For example: waking up.
Luckily, I wake up every day! Something I can rely on.
So I make a note in the “notebook in my brain” (which mostly works) that I want to write in my bullet journal right after waking. And I set a rule: no phone until I’ve written a little and found some clarity for the day.
Sometimes I break the rule, and that’s okay.
It’s not a demand, it’s orientation.
The more I follow this pattern, the sturdier it gets. Over time, it becomes a true anchor. Yay.
2. Ask someone to help with task initiation.
A friend and I do this by agreeing on a time, which can shift depending on our readiness. Then one of us goes: “1, 2, 3…”
The other replies: “Go!”
And we start.
Even this requires executive function: to know you want to do the thing, and to ask someone to co-initiate. That’s why regular time slots can help support the process too.
3. Use regular daily times as anchors.
As long as they don’t become a demand, regular times can offer structure and orientation.
On the Doing the thing channels, anchor times are available on the pinned messages. For example, I know I want to do a movement practice around 11:00 or 12:00. If something else comes up, no problem. But the intention has somewhere to land.
These anchors take time to stick. Sometimes you’ll need help to get them going. That’s okay.
Intervention: Support through reflection
It might help to seek support and just write down and reflect with someone. Sometimes I just need someone to talk through the needs and how they are overwhelming me.
Why is support a good thing? Because disalignment, especially the kind caused by fear, is a very overwhelming experience and makes the world so inaccessible to me. And it is that fear that most often impacts my ability to bridge the gap, or to connect my body with my mind through spirit and intention. So sometimes, even with all this support, I often can not calm down my impulse control. It takes time and so much patience and support to settle. And I have learned that finding support for this state is an act of self care and empowerment.
Consequences of disalignment
I’ve had to face the fallout of misalignment, especially when I didn’t have time or support. That’s when reality kicks in.
I’ve tried to avoid it… believe me 😅 but reality is what turns a task into a scary demand.
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